asker

Anonymous asked: No more Singlicity?

Naw. Just took a break.

The Complexities of Friendship

Friendship should be simple. And, honestly, it is. The only problem is, that people who are friends are usually, well, human. And that’s OK. But they are also, well, flawed. And that’s OK too. What’s not OK is when we expect perfect relationships from imperfect people. The moment you expect a friendship to fulfill you completely is the moment you have fallen into error. That’s pretty easy to understand, right?

But then you have those opposite sex friendships which should be normal as well. Yet again, however, we have imperfect people trying to build a perfect relationship. Emotions get involved. Boundaries are not set. And expectations from both parties are completely off balanced. And there again we have an relational error.

I said all of that to point out one thing. YOU ARE IMPERFECT and so are YOUR FRIENDS. The only way to actively build healthy relationships with them is through the only perfect One, Christ. Two dull knifes can’t sharpen each other, can they? No. So it is with relationships and Christ. If we don’t allow Him to sharpen us individually that we may build healthy relationships with others, we will go nowhere really fast. We expect a lot from others. And we rightfully should sometimes. However, we that expectation seeps into perfection (most of the time unintentionally), we have attempted to replace a human, flawed, and frustrated relationship with a perfect one. God’s sharpening tool is the best around too! Want to know what it’s called?

FORGIVENESS!

Question of the Day:

So, this is specifically to my singles who are NOT in any sort of relationship. Practically speaking, where would you like your life to be before you are ready to be pursued, or to pursue someone and why?

An Open Letter to Myself

Dear Ramond,

Your life today is a blip in comparison to eternity. Your worries, your frustrations, your desires and what is important now are all pointless when viewed through the lenses of what really matters. Your struggles and strengths, weaknesses and triumphs, and everything in between are all irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. I know you realize all of the imperfections you have to work on. You know your faults better than anyone other than God. You know your inconsistencies. Your imperfections. The deepest, most foul, most disgusting things about yourself you know all to well. You also know your triumphs, your strengths and the things you take pleasure in being gifted at.

Yet, regardless of any of that. Good or bad. What really matters is what will be eternal. From my perspective, all of those things you used to worry about really didn’t accomplish anything. All of those things that used to take up so much time, didn’t benefit you much. The only things that mattered were the relationships you built and the character you learned in the process. Money was temporal. So was success AND failure. All of that, if it didn’t produce eternal results, was worthless.

So I would encourage you my friend. Pursue that which is eternal. That is the only thing Jesus said you had to do. “Seek first the Kingdom of God,” right? Your skills, your knowledge, your influence means nothing if God’s kingdom isn’t first. All Jesus requires you to do is to make Him your everything. Look at your life bro. Examine what is producing eternal fruit. If it’s not, is it worth it?  Make Him first. Keep His principles before you. All that other stuff will come. I am living proof it.

With Love,

Your Future SELF, Ramond

The Life of a Single Parent

So, today, I am dedicating it to single parents. I know this is Father’s Day weekend. My mom, who was a single parent, used to always tell me she had to be the mother AND the father in my life. I just wanted to give props to the single parents for what they do. I’m gonna kick off this celebration with a question:

As a single parent, how has having a child affected how people perceive you-especially in regards to dating/courting?

Question of the Day?

Most people will admit that they would like to be financially secure before marriage. What does financial security look like for you?

Waiting and (not) Dating (pt 2 of Actively Waiting)

Below is the second part of the two part series, Actively Waiting by guest blogger Arienne. Check out her blog here: http://www.yakariendva.blogspot.com/

I’ve read the books. I’ve read my Word. But living it out has taken a lot of fasting and prayer. What does it mean to wait on the Lord? And for women it literally means wait. We are expected to wait for men to approach us and then ask us to marry them. If you don’t you run the risk of being seen as desperate or too forward.

Well the Word calls singleness a gift (1 Cor 7:7). While some may not think of it that way, it is the perfect opportunity to focus on God and yourself. We are afforded the opportunity to get to know God without being pulled in different directions by a partner. Relationships take a lot of time and energy. I believe it’s important to have your relationship with the Lord on solid ground before you try to take on another person.

This is the time to start your business. Work on your communication skills. Build your talent and gifts. Get your credit score right.  Figure out how you want your house to run. Shoot you can even plan your wedding. Get it out the way before you’re under a time constraint.  Go on mission trips, travel and eat.  Get busy! There’s so much to do! But it’s not the time to focus on WHY you’re single, it’s more like WHILE I’m single and then fill in the blank.

In my season of singleness God began to work on my insecurities. He showed me who I really am and how to become what he wants to me to be. If I had to pinpoint what I have received from the Lord other than salvation, it has to be a sense of security and major peace. I will never question whether I’m worthy of love. I will never settle for less than what I am worth. And I realize that others need to be shown they are worthy of love as well.

He showed me how to look at the actions and relationships of others so that I can take into account what to do and what not to do. I didn’t set myself back another five years by making a mistake with someone who wasn’t going to matter in a year. I haven’t whined (too much) and complained because I don’t have a partner. I really thank God for keeping me through this time and reassuring me that He’s got my back. Because after watching friends get in and out and in and out of relationships without having even one person who peaks your interest around, you can get a little restless. BUT that’s the beauty of it all. I was being molded the entire time.

God used my friendships to teach me patience, forgiveness, commitment, communication and love. Those things are the most important in a marriage. Chemistry happens quickly and is not something that has to be figured out. You don’t have to ask yourself “Am I really attracted to this person?” Of course you are! But to find out that you lack the patience to deal with their short comings can make a small issue a huge one.

There are a couple of messages that have really helped me through this process. One from Pastor Tamara Bennett is on youtube and I encourage you to watch the whole thing. It’s called Prospering in your gift. I say start with part 2. Ignore that it’s at Bishop Weeks’ church, it’s a bomb message. And another I just found not too long ago by Pastor Andy Stanley called the New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating. http://northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating/part-1

So don’t wait, just live and continue to grow.

Question of the Day

Does female literature and films (i.e. Chic flicks and romance novels) have the same affect on ladies as pornography on men? Why or why not?

So Fly. 6-5-2011

So Fly. Nuff said.